Monthly Archives: August 2012

Lessons Learned from Tutoring

Leave a reply

Yesterday was my first day tutoring through Spero Project. Each day varies so I didn’t know exactly what to expect. In the end we had over 25 kids from at least 6 different countries and I definitely learned a lot on the job! Here are my lessons learned so far:

1. Not being able to speak the language is really tough when you just want the grown-up to help you make Power Ranger cuffs.

2. A roll of tape, markers, and a stack of paper can keep kids occupied for a minimum of three hours.

3. Explaining how to do mathematical estimation is not easy, but when you see the spark in the child’s eye because she gets it, it is definitely worth all the effort.

4. Every kid is obsessed with using the computers.

5. To little ones, attention and love and much more important than language barriers and cultural differences.

6. It’s hard to work in an apartment complex at dinner time with all the delicious smells from around the world and not get hungry.

7. All of the hand games I played as a kid are still popular.

8. And finally, I’m pretty lucky to be able to hang out with such a great group of kids through an incredible organization.

Volunteer Prep: Burmese and Iraqi Etiquette

7 Replies

When we moved to OKC, I knew I had to get involved. I’m too social of a person to sit at home all day. Don’t get me wrong, I love reading a good book and writing this blog, but a whole day without talking to someone is a long day for me. Taking the advice of my friend who did a guest post for me on volunteering with the refugee community, I started researching different organizations in Oklahoma City that assist refugees. And that’s when I found Spero Project. The Spero Project is a local non-profit organization that partners with local churches to serve under-resources communities. Their programming extends to single mothers, children in the foster care system, and families who are refugees in OKC.

I will be serving in their Learning Center where children from the refugee community can come and get help with homework, English, and just play. Adults can also come work on English and study for the TOEFL, their GED, or the citizenship exam. I had my first training on Tuesday and will have my first hours in the Learning Center this evening. Most of the children that I’ll be working with come from either Iraq or Myanmar. While I feel ready to help with fractions, I realized that I am not very familiar with the Iraqi or Burmese cultures. I know I will learn a lot while I’m with the kids, but I thought it might be good to know some basic etiquette to get me started.

Burmese Basic Etiquette:

  • As a female, a smile or nod is the most appropriate ways to greet men.
  • Never touch a person’s hair, head or cheek, even if you consider it as a friendly gesture.
  • The upper part is considered sacred while lower part is considered inferior to the upper part, even considered dirty. Never mix the things you use for your upper part with that of the lower part.
  • Do not use your feet to point at anything or anyone.
  • Don’t cough, sneeze or blow your nose in the dining table.
  • Present gifts (even a business card) with both hands.

Iraqi Basic Etiquette:

  • The most common greeting is the handshake coupled with eye contact and a smile.
  • Use your right hand to make contact with others and to eat.
  • Do not point with a finger but rather with the entire hand.
  • Always keep your word. Do not make a promise or guarantee unless you can keep it. If you want to show a commitment to something but do not want to make caste iron assurances then employ terms such as “I will do my best,” or “We will see.”
  • Do not make the thumbs up or “ok” sign. They are considered obscene.
  • Present gifts (even a business card) with both hands.

Abroad Blog of the Week: Mauled by Europe

4 Replies

Have you ever traveled with little ones? Then you will love this Abroad Blog of the Week. Jesse and Liz of Mauled by Europe have taken on the adventure of moving to Italy for three months for Jesse to do a design internship. What makes this adventure even more fun is that they are doing it with their two little boys who are both under the age of three. So far the couple has survived several flights, car rides, and after a stop in Denmark for a wedding, they are just now getting settled in Italy. If you are planning travels with toddlers you should definitely check out their post on sleeping with a baby on vacation and flying with kids. In addition to great posts on kid travel, you’ll also enjoy Mauled by Europe’s daily thoughts on culture, food, and living abroad. I was lucky enough to catch up with Liz via email and get some great advice on how to plan a three-month international move. Be sure to read our interview!

How did you go about setting up your life (housing, transportation, etc) in Italy while you were still in the States?

We searched all over the internet for furnished rental by owner and we came across one on airbnb.com that we thought felt cozy. It wasn’t the cheapest housing option but with two kids coming along too we wanted it to be comfortable and have everything we would need. Jesse is going to see about using a bike to get to work. It’s only 3 miles away on the map but we’re going to play it by ear when we get there and maybe he’ll need to rent a scooter? I guess we’ll see.

After your recent cross-continental flight with your two little ones, do you have any tips for success you’d give to traveling parents?

On our trip from Chicago to Copenhagen we packed a small rolling suitcase with diapers and toys and food. But we had to put it in the overhead compartment which you really don’t want to fumble around and grab it down a billion times. Now on our trip yesterday from Copenhagen to Bologna we only brought our small carry on backpack/diaper bag which fit under the seat in front of you. Sooo much nicer when you wanted to keep going in for food and milk and such. Also, even with the liquid restrictions you can bring in stuff for your kids like milk and such.
Also, about an hour into the trip, Crosby (our youngest) was so cranky and I started freaking out inside. I was standing by the bathrooms then in the bathroom while he cried and whined. I was thinking to myself, “Oh my gosh, I am going to have to hold a squirming crying baby in the bathroom for 7 more hours.” But if you just wait it out he’ll soon get tired.

How is your Italian?

We know zero Italian! We both took spanish in school but are nowhere near fluent, but we can pick up a few words. We’re hoping that this trip will give us, and more than anything our kids, a chance to pick up the language. We are going to try to get our almost 3-year-old into a Carpi preschool. Hopefully when we get back home in November we can keep Italian lessons going to give him an edge with learning a language.

Do you have any must-dos while you are living in Carpi?

My husband is going to be focusing on working which will be interesting going into a new job across the world. Interesting and very stressful! We both want to really learn how to eat and relax like an Italian. It also would be interesting to see child rearing differences between America and Italy/Europe. A few weeks before we left I quit my job so my husband could take this opportunity. So, I am looking forward to learning how to be a stay-at-home mom for the first time but also a stay-at-home mom in Italy!

 What advice would you give someone considering internships abroad?

When Jesse was looking for an internship abroad we literally googled “design firms abroad” and then applied to a ton of internships in really cool places and some not so interesting places all over Europe. Our first hope was to get one in Italy and then somehow he got this amazing internship in Italy. We’ll have to tell you more advice once he starts working. I know a lot of places in Europe have strict working restrictions and laws. Some where they can’t hire outside of citizens or ones where they can’t offer internships. We are also going into this whole adventure with the mindset that we’re not really sure what we’ll get out of the living/working in Italy. But as long as we just remember that this our chance to do something different and change the way we think on a daily basis, then the trip will be worth it in the end.

Meet Up and the Girly Book Club

2 Replies

Last night I did my first Meet Up event in OKC. If you’re not familiar with Meet Up, it is probably one of the easiest ways to meet new people who share your interests. Looking for a language group in your city? Go on Meet Up. Want a group of women to go to the theater with you? Meet Up is where you can find them. And if a group doesn’t already exist, you can always make one yourself. Now I will admit that some cities have more vibrant Meet Ups than others but it is fairly wide-spread. I just found Meet Ups in Rome, Buenos Aires, and Shanghai. Any poker players in Shanghai? They have a Meet Up.

For my first OKC Meet Up, I joined a lovely group of women for the Girly Book Club. The Girly Book Club was actually started in London by a woman named Erin. The London Club now has over 1400 members and regularly packs out. Erin decided to spread her vision and as friends moved to new places she asked them to bring the club with them. In addition to the OKC Girly Book Club, groups have also started in Denver, Melbourne, Nashville, New York City, San Francisco, Toronto, and Wellington. Each club reads the same book every month with recommendations coming from all the clubs.

I have to say that last night was one of the most enjoyable experiences as a new person to OKC. It first started with an email from Laura, the OKC host of the group. She welcomed me personally, introduced herself, and told me exactly what to expect. When I arrived at Full Circle Bookstore (an incredible local bookstore), I got my name tag and bought a drink from the little cafe. When I sat down, I was immediately engaged in conversation. The group of 32 was a great mix of women between the ages of 20-60. It was split between locals and transplants from around the country. After everyone introduced themselves, we talked about the book The Night Circus (one of my favorites). Various people asked questions and almost everyone chimed in. There was no talking over each other and everyone seemed genuinely interested in what others had to say. By the end of the evening, I felt sure that this was a group I’d like to return to. And while I didn’t leave with a new best friend, I think it is a place I can connect.

Tea with Margaret Thatcher

3 Replies

 

Although I’ve watched a good number of films lately from around the globe, I haven’t been inspired to blog about any in a while. But this past week I watched the Iron Lady, and actually found myself writing down quotes from the movie (BTW, that is not a regular occurrence). Margaret Thatcher may be a controversial character in Britain’s history, but she definitely said some quotable statements during her tenure in British politics. As a woman with a great deal of responsibility on her shoulders, I think there are some lessons we can all take from her. So with a cup of tea in hand, here is what I have learned from the longest-serving British Prime Minister.

Plan your work for today and every day, then work your plan.

These days without the structure of a full-time job, I think I find this advice from M.T. to be the most practical. At least I’ve made it practical and started making my checklist every morning. It’s made me contemplate my goals and write them down, even the little ones. (Today: learn 30 new words for the GRE.)

I do not know anyone who has got to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but it should get you close.

I am on the cusp of being a Millennial, a generation known for their access and ease with technology, but also regularly criticized for its characteristics of entitlement. Margaret’s quote was a good reminder that I cannot rest on the shoulders of others to accomplish my goals. It will take my own hard work and perseverance.

To wear your heart on your sleeve isn’t a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.

As an emotional thinker, I can certainly benefit from this lesson.  If I can allow my heart and mind to function in unison, rather that allow my heart to run the show, my decisions and probably my outcomes would all be better.

Thank you, Margaret, for the tea and for the good advice.

 

Kiss Me, I’m (Cooking) Irish

4 Replies

I may not have students to cook for yet in Oklahoma, but I still have Hubby. We’ve made a pact to eat lunch together every Friday so I’m bringing back my Friday international lunch. This week I was cooking Irish. First I researched some Irish dishes and while doing so learned some interesting facts about traditional Irish cooking such as:

  • Traditional Irish recipes are simple. Because of a less affluent past as a country, most traditional dishes require few ingredients to keep the cost down.
  • Adding whiskey to a dish does not make it traditionally Irish. My guess is that if a dish is made with whiskey it is probably an American’s doing.
  • The traditional Irish cook does not let any of the pig go to waste. Tripe (pig’s stomach) and crubeens (pig’s feet) are commonly used in traditional Irish dishes.
  • One food has stayed a staple in Irish cooking for as long as they’ve been cooking – the potato.

On Friday, I decided to make an Irish dessert called Apple Amber a traditional sweet made from one of the few fruits that can survive the Irish climate. Unfortunately, my attempt at meringue was not too successful yesterday but I blame that on the lack of a mixer in my executive apartment. (Don’t worry, I’m going to buy one this weekend so I can try again.) However, the pie was pretty tasty and worth another go.

You can try your hand at Apple Amber by using this recipe on European Cuisine. If you’ve never made meringue before, I also highly suggest reading this tutorial by What’s Cooking America (super informative).

Ingredients for this pie are simple: 1 lbs apples, pie crust, eggs, lemon, and sugar

You have to grate the apples, a first for me, but kind of fun.

Ignore my miserable meringue but the pie was still pretty tasty!

 

 

The Hostility Stage

4 Replies

In study abroad, the stages of cultural adjustment are normal. We try to prepare our students that there will be times when they will not like their host country. They will think Italian transportation strikes are ridiculous or will get frustrated that Japanese restaurants never have forks. Sometimes the hostility stage is more severe and they will want to go home. We try to give them the tools for coping with the stage but realize that we can’t eliminate it from happening.

When we moved to Oklahoma, I knew I had to be proactive to feel grounded here. I contacted the PhD program director to talk about applying. I got in touch with an organization that works with the refugee community to volunteer. We have consistently gone to a new church every Sunday trying to find the right one. But despite all of the effort, currently I find myself in the hostility stage. While many things are in the works (home, church, friends, and activities), in this moment I am lonely and lacking things to do. I miss my friends and my job and if we were offered the chance to move back to San Diego, I would probably take it.

My big brother called me last night and asked me, “So how is the transition going?” He knew the right question to ask as he has been in my shoes before. I told him about a post by Clearing Customs I read about a week ago about the grieving process. It quoted Ruth Van Reken who said, “Every time there’s transition, there is loss,” and “where there’s loss, there’s grief.” I said that I’m grieving what I left behind in San Diego. He told me that when he was living in Germany, every time someone left to go back home, he grieved as well. He made me feel normal, while reminding me that this is a stage and soon I will feel at home here too.

Although I am not very fond of the hostility stage and just wish I could fit in, feel useful, and find purpose in this new city, I know it’s part of the process. I also have to remember that you can’t grieve what you never had. I am thankful that I had so much in San Diego to grieve for and wonderful people like my big brother who understand.

This is me visiting my big brother in Germany in 1999.

 

Qixi Festival i.e. Chinese Valentine’s Day

Leave a reply

Today (August 23rd) is the Chinese Qixi Festival. When I read about the festival earlier this week, I knew I wanted to participate but there wasn’t a scheduled festival here in OKC so I had to make my own.

The Qixi Festival is held each year on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month to celebrate the reuniting of the seventh daughter of the Queen of Heaven, Zhinü to her mortal cow-herding husband Niulang. The folklore says that Zhinü came to earth to bathe and while she was in the water, Niulang’s bull told him that if he stole Zhinü’s clothes she would marry him. (Romatic, right?) The two fell in love, married, and had twins. While they were living happily, the Queen of Heaven found out that her daughter had married a mortal, so she kidnapped her and forced her back to the sky. Now Zhinü and Niulang are the stars Vega and Altair and are only allowed to meet once a year.

The festival is one of romance. Traditionally, the young women go to the temple of the match maker to make a wish for a mate or if newly married, they pray to get pregnant. The festival is also an opportunity to display their handiwork, where melon carving and embroidery are some of the more popular displays. But since the 1990s, the festival has also taken on a commercialized feel now being called Chinese Valentine’s Day.

For my own celebration of Qixi, I participated in several of the traditions, both old and new.

First I headed the to Asian District to do some grocery shopping. Unfortunately no one was celebrating the festival.

Embroidery was a craft once celebrated at the Qixi Festival.

At the festival, young women would try to float an embroidery needle. If it floated, they were considered a skilled artist. Mine sunk so I guess I’m not very skilled.

Hmmm…which to choose for Hubby? I think I’ll stick with the fortune cookie.

No melon carving for me today but Hubby did at least get the benefit of a good Asian-inspired meal last night.

Abroad Blog of the Week: Our Dear Lady Expatriate

1 Reply

This Abroad Blog of the Week comes from one of my dream locations: Cambodia! Our Dear Lady Expatriate (or ODLE for short) was introduced to me by a study abroad colleague and friend, and I’ve now been reading her posts for several weeks. Although ODLE’s blog is just a few months old, her experience living abroad and teaching English is extensive. After living in South Korea for several years, she now finds herself in Cambodia and exploring her new host country. Her blog is full of fun fashion for the ESL teacher, weekly recommended links, and expat tips for living in Cambodia. I was able to catch up with the fun-loving Our Dear Lady Expatriate for a virtual interview and learn more about how her expat life all got started.

1. What got you started teaching English abroad and living the expat life?

I grew up in rural Ontario, and I never knew that a life like this was possible. I remember the excitement of going to university in Ottawa and thinking it to be such an immense city. During first year, I vividly remember attending a free information session about teaching ESL abroad and having my universe split open with possibilities. After the info session, I went straight home and wrote my Mom a 3 page email trying to persuade her to let me ‘take a break’ from university and go travel. Her reply was a definitive ‘no way’, and that was that…
…Until, in fourth year, I was connected, via a mutual friend on Facebook, to a rather handsome fella who was living and teaching in England. A whirlwind long-distance romance ensued, and despite only having ever visited each other for three weeks total over the next year, we made plans to run away together to Korea as soon as I graduated. Somehow we made it through the first year of getting to know each other in a foreign country while living in a studio apartment, and have been happily rambling about ever since.
So, at first, teaching was really just a tool that I used to attain the traveling life I desired. Since taking that initial contract, though, I’ve found that I was lucky enough to stumble upon my passion, and now teaching English is so much more than just a way to fund a ticket: it’s my chosen career, and I couldn’t be happier.

2. You’ve been abroad for some time. What made you decide to start your lovely blog just a few months ago?

Combine the fact that I’ve been obsessed with reading blogs for years with my general propensity towards writing, brainstorming and ‘doing,’ and I’m surprised it’s taken this long, too! Partly, I credit a couple of blogs that I’ve recently found and deeply connected with. Both the diverse mix of content on Yes and Yes and the work ethic of the girls at A Beautiful Mess have been inspiring, as has the success of each of these blogs and the strong community aspect of each.

Really, I think the ‘aha’ moment came when I was trying to find blogs in the ’20-something female expat living in Cambodia’ niche and came up empty. In fact, there are so many great backpacker blogs discussing this region (Grrrl Traveler, for one), but it can be a bit tricky to find quality stay-put-expat lifestyle blogs that regularly post. The discovery of this massive gap really acted as a swift kick to my behind to try my hand at generating my own content.

3. With your adventure-seeking taste buds, is there any type of food in Cambodia you won’t try?

Actually, I’m afraid you’re giving me more credit than I’m due! In any group, I’m bound to be the least likely to try the ‘odd’ items on the menu, and up until about a year ago, I was totally vegetarian. I constantly feel less than adventurous when dining out with my Partner In Crime, who tends to zero in on dishes like “Sea Cucumber Covered In Black Ant Sauce”. HOWEVER. One of my upcoming goals before my 27th birthday (the rest of which will be announced at the start of September on my site!) is to try frog, and another is to give fresh durian a proper go. Maybe they will be the turn-over-a-new-leaf moments that I’ve been waiting for? I really would love to amass some crazy food stories to shock my Grandma and my buddies alike! Stay tuned!

4. How has your move to Cambodia been different from your move to South Korea?

Personally, the first time I moved to Korea, at age 21, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that I was moving there with this guy who I was pretty sure I was in love with, and that it was a foreign country, bound to be chock-full of adventure. As aforementioned, the prospect of teaching really didn’t have that much to do with anything at that point. Now, discovering new systems of education in each country is a major part of the appeal, and I’m excited to have the opportunity to try out different methods, such as Montessori. Experience has also bestowed a confidence in myself that I know I’ll be able to hack it anywhere, which was glaringly absent throughout that first year in Korea!
Logistically, the two are very different. South Korea requires a lot of prep while still in your home country, but your travel expenses are paid and you walk into a life that’s been set up for you. In Cambodia, you hand out resumes in person and need to take care of travel and lodging yourself. In hindsight, I’m glad I got my expat footing in Korea before being left to my own devices in Cambodia.

5. How is learning Khmer going?

Well, I’m a month and a half into living here, and I’ve got the essentials (like giving directions) figured out, but little else. I’ve gotten a lot of use out of the bits and pieces that I know, though! Truly, every time I’ve attempted to speak in Khmer, I’ve gotten a lovely reaction from the listener, even if I’ve botched it. It’s very encouraging, and I’ve really been motivated by sincerely wanting to speak with the people around. The focus of the first couple of weeks was to set up my little life and to nab a job or two, and now I’m ready to dig in, starting with working on the pronunciation of common sounds, which are quite distinct from English. I’m keen to have my students stop giggling when I butcher the pronunciation of their names when calling attendance!

6. Do you have any “learn from my mistake” advice for future ESL teachers/expats?

For anyone moving to Korea, I would absolutely recommend putting the few days of study into learning how to read Hangul. It’s not nearly as difficult as you might imagine, and it will give you such a greater sense of belonging in your new home. I also generally found learning Korean gave me more empathy towards my students. The icing on the cake is that it will never fail to impress people (outside Korea) that you can phonetically read another alphabet! I wish I’d put the effort in the first time around.
I would also say that if you’re living in South Korea, there’s little excuse for not saving half your pay check. I didn’t do this the first year, and I cannot tell you where that money went. Cute stationery and hair bows? I don’t know! That’s something I did entirely differently the second year I lived there: every month, on the day I was paid, I would immediately send a pretty sizable chunk to my Canadian bank account. Soju’s cheap, Korean restaurants are cheap, transportation’s cheap, renting singing rooms is cheap – use the opportunity to bank some cash and fund some amazing future travels!

Thanks Our Dear Lady Expatriate for the interview!

Spontaneity and 25 Cent Cookies

1 Reply

Close your eyes. Oh wait, then you can’t read this. Ok, open your eyes but pretend you are in Tokyo or Paris or Buenos Aires. You are walking along off to one of the famous sights when something catches your attention – a street performer, a one-day sale at an interesting shop, discounted tickets to a matinee play that starts in 20 minutes. You put off your plans to see the Eiffel Tower until tomorrow and grasp spontaneity. The Eiffel Tower will be there tomorrow.

The thing is when I’m abroad, I have no problem with being spontaneous. I can easily change plans, fit in a spur-of-the-moment opportunity, or if something isn’t meeting my expectations, change directions and find something else. But when I’m at home, this doesn’t seem to be my norm. I make plans and stick to them. I have a calendar that I follow daily.

Saturday night Hubby and I had a plan. I had found a blues and arts festival in the events section of the newspaper and we had decided to go. It started at 6pm so we left our apartment at 5:30 knowing it was at a park in Langston, OK. We got on Old Highway 33 and started looking for the park but suddenly we were at the end of Old 33. So we turned around and drove it again. All of the sudden we saw two small canopies and a few cars parked on the side of the road. What we expected to be a blues festival consisted of one man playing the clarinet and two tables with jewelry. The funny part was we had to pay to get in. So we threw that idea out the window and spontaneity had to kick in (especially because we had no cell phone service in Langston, OK).

We drove down the road to another small town called Guthrie, OK, parked in the historic downtown and started walking. We found a BBQ restaurant full of people with cowboy hats (it must be good, right?) and then discovered there was a bluegrass concert around the corner. After having some delicious baby back ribs and mac-n-cheese, we walked a block to Byron Berline’s Double Stop Fiddle Shop & Music Hall, home of  bluegrass champions, the Byron Berline Band. We walked in at 7:30 and for two hours were delighted with great music, humorous banter between the band, and the cheapest cookies and coffee we have ever seen.

Morale of the story: Spontaneity is not just for travel. While I was abroad, I learned to be flexible and go with the flow but I don’t practice those skills enough. Perhaps if I did, I would have more evenings filled with great music and 25 cent cookies.

 

The historic downtown of Guthrie, OK

You’ll see plenty of cowboy hats at Boneyard BBQ

Byron’s Double Stop Fiddle Shop sell fiddles as well as teaches lessons

The Music Hall is decorated with t-shirts on the ceiling but it packs out regularly with over 200 bluegrass lovers

We loved the concession stand at intermission! 2 cookies and 2 coffees for $1.50